Penn’s changed a lot since I first settled into a cramped Hill double three and a half years ago. No more happy hour specials at LTs. No more terrible service from Marathon. No more almost drug deals at Cream and Sugar. But apparently the Penn landscape's changed infinitely for many alum traipsing back to campus this weekend. Choruses of “OHMIGOD THIS IS SO WEIRD” rang throughout Smoke's on Saturday night. "Nothing's the same!" a nostalgic sorority girl turned consultant cried. And then she took a shot. Well duh, ya weirdos. Of course nothing's the same. You all graduated. New babies moved in. Penn chugs along without you. That doesn't mean we don't miss you (because damnit we do) but it's probably a sad notion for alumni to face: Penn does not revolve around you. And this is pretty sad for seniors, too. You mean to say that the entire undergraduate body won’t welcome us back next year with open arms and free pitchers? You mean there will be no red carpet rolled out embellished with Kweder lyrics? How dare you! How will we get through the next few months? Oh wait. There’s a ton of things to look forward to. Especially in Street. Like two (not one, but two!) more sets of Shoutouts (p. 12). Cultural Elite’s coming out next week — will you make the cut? And a Joke Issue to boot. There are other things on the horizon, too of course. Walnut Walk. Senior Formal. Fling. Being a second semester senior part deux. Oh, and getting a job or something like that. Maybe. Hopefully. But until then, it might be time to try something new. Work at a homeless shelter (p. 8). Do some drugs at a concert (p. 10). Make some donuts (p. 6). Or just take a nice walk courtesy of Kevin Bacon's father (p. 16).
Street your heart out,