The Bio Pond - Nature spot frequented by potheads and Orthodox Jews on Shabbos walks. Come for the mitzvah, stay for the high.
Beige Block - Stretch of houses on 41st Street between Walnut and Spruce. Predominantly upperclassmen. Questionably safe.
BYO - Acronym for “Bring Your Own,” referring to alcohol. Philly is known for BYO restaurants, and they (usually) don’t card. Bring a bottle to dinner. Scratch that: a box.
Date Nights - Dirty rush events held by frats in order to secure cool freshmen and seduce young girls. Disclaimer: you’ll probably sleep over, but this is not a real date.
Downtown - Head to a D-List Philly club with “the scene” on Thursday nights. Dress in all black, expect to blackout.
GBM vs. GSR vs. GMO - General Board Meeting. Group Study Room. Genetically Modified Organism. Two of these things apply to Penn.
Hallcest - Hooking up with someone in your hall. A rite of passage. This will happen, and it will be awkward.
Kweder - Washed-up rockstar who brings down the house at Smoke’s on Tuesday nights. Come if you know all the words to “American Pie.” Avoid if you don’t know what Smoke’s is.
Lyn - Everyone’s surrogate aunt. Serves up egg sandwiches and smiles to hungover students from her cart by the Lower Quad Gate.
Magic Carpet - Vegetarian food you will actually enjoy. Avoid if allergic to tofu and JAPs.
Mark’s vs. Joe’s vs. William’s - The Three Brothers. Go to William’s for coffee (Williams Hall), Joe’s for sandwiches (Steinberg-Dietrich Hall) and Mark’s as a last resort (Van Pelt).
SABS - See And Be Seen. As in, “I sat at the tables by the Compass to SABS before class, because I was wearing my snedges.”
Wharton Behavioral Labs - Easy way to make $10. Hard way to transfer to Wharton.