Street: When did you start being the mascot?
Jordan Holmes: Freshman year! I was walking down the activities fair and I went to the cheerleading table, and they said “Come be our cheerleader!” and I’m like, “Ha! no.” But they were like, “Then come be the mascot!” So I “tried out” for the mascot, and I got it.
Street: What does being the Quaker involve?
JH: You have to go to all the basketball and football games...And then we do promotional events...People request us for birthday parties and bat mitzvahs. So if you’re looking for a Quaker for your sister’s bat mitzvah, call us. We got you.
Street: What’s your best Quaker memory?
JH: The most fun I’ve had is interacting with other mascots. I did a charity dinner and there were a bunch of other mascots there from the Big 5 and Drexel and it was hilarious (Ed. note: Philly Big 5 = Penn, La Salle, St. Joe’s, Temple and Villanova). We had a dance competition, we were playing practical jokes on each other—mascot to mascot interaction is like watching little kids interact.
Street: Have you ever fought the Princeton Tiger?
JH: Yo. Of course. Shit gets bad when the Princeton Tiger comes around.
Street: Are you on the field when they throw the toast?
JH: I don’t even try to avoid it. I know that they’re going to try to hit me anyway...I pretend to eat it, but because the mouth is over my eyes, I sometimes get toast in my eyes.
Street: Do you have signature moves?
JH: I dance... I shimey all the time.
Street: Tell us more about Red and Blue Crew!
JH: We’re the student spirit organization on campus—we paint up, we’re loud and rowdy, we organize the roll outs at basketball games. We organize away game trips, so...we organize buses through Penn Athletics and give you discounted tickets. Or free tickets sometimes!
Street: And how’s architecture going?
JH: It’s going. We’re making an ice-fishing hut now, don’t ask me why. It’s our first actual piece of architecture that we’re building, so it’s exciting, but it’s very tedious as well.
Street: Do you want to be an architect?
JH: That’s actually a good question—my dream job would be an Olympic consultant, where you go around to different cities that want to host the Olympics and tell them, “No you can’t do that there!” Build this!”
Street: If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
JH: Good wine, good views, good people...I don’t know, Greece?
Street: What’s on your Penn bucket list?
JH: Go to a class in the Quaker suit and act like it’s completely normal. By the end of senior year, it’s going to happen.
Street: So you’re strutting down locust—which song are you listening to?
JH: Shake it Off, Taylor Swift. (Ed. note: he didn’t miss a beat)
Street: Give us a cheesy pick up line.
JH: Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see...
Street: Fill in the blank: There are two types of people at Penn...
JH: Those who love Penn and those who wish they went to Princeton—BYE.
Street: If you had a superpower, what would it be?
JH: Teleportation because fuck walking.
Street: What is your spirit animal?
JH: A husky because I absolutely love huskies. They are adorable.
Street: If you could have a drink with anyone in history who would it be and what would you drink?
JH: I would probably say Nelson Mandela. We’d have a Memphis Mule from the Fat Ham.
Street: What’s the most disappointing present you’ve ever gotten?
JH: A Burger King gift card! It was $25...like woooo, go crazy?
Street: What’s the last thing you bought?
JH: Muddy Buddies Chex Mix at Wawa last night. It’s Chex with peanut butter and chocolate covered in powdered sugar.
Street: Who’s your current celebrity crush?
JH: Chris Pine. Now and forever Chris Pine.
Street: What’s your favorite place on campus?
JH: I think it would have to be sitting on the stone benches outside of the Palestra on Shoemaker Green.
Street: What was the first concert you ever went to?
JH: It was Smashmouth, Pussycat Dolls and Black Eyed Peas. It was in middle school, it was great.
Street: What will you be doing on this day in 10 years?
JH: How old will I be? 31. Christ. I’ll probably be in Greece with good wine, good people, good views.