• Get crop top–worthy abs (and still never wear crop tops)
  • Stop crying at Smoke's
  • Never drink again
  • Workout on the second floor of Pottruck
  • Stop snoozing
  • Be open to new people
  • Date guys before I sleep with them
  • Stop swallowing semen 
  • Keep Plan B numbers in the single digits
  • Never eat Allegro
  • Delete all the boys I’ve hooked up with on Snapchat 
  • Stop seeking everyone’s approval
  • Take better care of myself
  • Send less dick picks
  • Stop bullying my grandmother 
  • Love someone more than I love my dog
  • Wax my balls
  • Eat less DP Pizza
  • Stop fucking around (literally)
  • Date someone at Penn
  • Read something interesting everyday
  • Stop Snapchatting while I’m pooping
  • Make an effort to be happier, nicer, and more optimistic
  • Have more sex in cabs
  • Stop worrying
  • Learn to cook and stop microwaving Lean Cuisines
  • Validate myself
  • Get at least a B in a hard science class
  • Be an unapologetically cynical bitch 
  • Be less of a bitch
  • Drink tequila sparingly
  • Stop Postmating CVS runs
  • Only end one night out at Wishbone per week
  • Smile more
  • Fuck less Theta Xi guys
  • Get dressed for class
  • Maybe don’t throw up on anyone
  • Stop fighting the homeless people outside of Wawa
  • Brush my teeth twice a day
  • Be outdoorsy
  • Grow boobs (again…still coming in)
  • Explore events in Philadelphia
  • Stop smoking in 3rd floor purple suite Hill because we finally have a GA
  • Dance like no one is watching
  • Less weed, more heroin 
  • Make a move on my insanely hot GA
  • Officially end my relationship with Bankers Club
  • Stop being such a dick to my parents
  • Talk less, listen more
  • Cook dinner at least once a week
  • Stop saying like
  • Orgasm from sex
  • Get laptop stickers that make me look cool and involved
  • Stop going to Wawa sober
  • Drink more (water)
  • Do homework for once before the night before
  • PennInTouch myself less
  • Stop saying fuck so fucking much
  • Have one less chin
  • Read Street