Street: Tell us about Mask and Wig, what do you love most about it?
Andres Martinez: I knew about Mask and Wig before coming to Penn, and I even mentioned it to my interviewer for Penn, like, “Oh, what do you think of Mask and Wig?” and he was totally dismissive, like “No, that’s for weird people.” But that didn’t stop me. So I did it, I auditioned, I got in and that was great. In high school I did a lot of theater, and then to come here to this all male, all jokey environment. That has been the most eye-opening thing that I enjoy now. Not taking everything too seriously, but still putting on something that we can be proud of.
Street: Was your interviewer right? Is it for weird people?
AM: Well, maybe that’s what people outside of Wig think, but inside it’s the best, it’s a really nice brotherhood. We just all get along.
Street: Give us one sentence that would make me want to join Mask and Wig.
AM: Come to Penn, and major in Mask and Wig. That’s something we’ve been saying for decades.
Street: What’s your favorite part you ever played?
AM: I would say I’m having a lot of fun with Bloody Mary. [Ed. note: See Andres as Bloody Mary in their Spring show going on now!] She comes out first and she’s seems like a scary, super weird character that’s going to kill them, but then she’s like a warm, kind of Mary Poppins character, so we call her Bloody Mary Poppins.
Street: We heard you’re on a crazy no–carb diet. What’s that all about?
AM: Yeah, well I started playing with this no–carb/low–carb diet two years ago. It works! It really works. I just wanted to lose weight, back in middle and high school I was chubbier. It’s weird, as a college student I’m trying to get that confidence back. So I started in November, and up until now my goal everyday is to eat 25 grams of carbs or less, so I’ve been doing no carbs, no sugars, so it’s challenging, but it’s fun. It’s weird, but that’s what I’m known for now. I’ve become somehow the guru of low-carb.
Street: What’s the hardest food to stay away from?
AM: It’s definitely just some sort of chocolate for me. There’s these Atkins bars, and I can eat like half of one a day.
Street: Which side of Chris Lilley are you from Summer Heights High?
AM: I mean, I’m Ja’mie, without a doubt. Like, there’s no other character I could relate to. I could watch that forever.
Street: Tell us about your milkshake obsession.
AM: At the beginning of the year like August and September, a couple of us in Mask and Wig would just hang out every night, and I used to work at Barclay’s over the summer. I made some money, so I was like, okay I’m going to treat everyone to milkshakes. I started doing that every day. It just became a thing that I was the milkshake boy, but I had to stop because my wallet was just draining and my body was the worst it’s ever been. So that is literally what started my low–carb diet.
Street: Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?
AM: I hope so!
Street: If you had 5,000 chicken nuggets, what would you do with them?
AM: If I had 5,000 chicken nuggets and I had a lot of time, I would eat all of them but I would take away the breading.
Street: What’s your best karaoke song?
AM: I always want to duet “A Whole New World.” It all started when I did Aladdin in high school, and I had to play Aladdin. So every time I karaoke I’m like, “So who wants to be my Jasmine?”
Street: You work for SPEC. So who’s your ideal Fling lineup?
AM: My ideal would be Beyonce as a headliner. I would love Kelly Clarkson to open. I would want see Kelly Clarkson, just so she can sing “A Moment Like This,” and then she can leave.
Street: Fill in the blank: There are two kinds of people at Penn.
AM: People who can tell tell difference between Coke Zero and Diet Coke, and people who can’t. Because I don’t understand when people can’t.
Street: Describe yourself in three words.
AM: Musical. No–Carb. Snapchatter. [Ed. note: We know, we let him cheat with hyphens.]
Street: If you could live anywhere on the planet, where would it be and why?
AM: Realistically I would want to live in New York City, in Times Square. I’ve always idolized [it], and people hate it! It’s so crazy, but I think that energizes me.
Street: If you could have a drink with anyone in history, who would it be and why?
AM: I would have a drink with William Shakespeare. He was just such a genius that people somehow started to idolize him, but when he was writing it, he didn’t know that it was going to be such a big thing.
Street: What will you be doing on this day in 10 years?
AM: Hopefully relaxing in bed. I would ideally be a producer on Broadway.
Street: What’s your spirit animal?
AM: I would say a cat. I have a cat, and I’ve had cats before, and I don’t understand them. And I think I don’t understand myself either.
Street: Fill in the blank: My Penn Card looks like...
AM: Shit. It doesn’t swipe.
Street: Tell us about your first kiss.
AM: Keeping up with the theater theme, it was on stage. It was my freshman year of high school, and I had to kiss this girl who I loved as a friend.I didn’t know what to do, so every rehearsal I would have mentos with me. I would just pop them in, just in case. And it didn’t happen for weeks, but it became a thing that I had to have mentos, and my dad started putting mentos in my lunch box for rehearsal, not knowing what it was for. And then when it came, it was just so anticlimactic because I had been building it up in my head, but it was nice.
Street: What was your first AIM screenname?
AM: It was Andres4you. I was super precocious. Like is it sexual? Is it not? [Ed. note: it is]
Street: Reverse fuck marry kill. Go. [Ed. note: you select your own FMK options.]
AM: I would kill Johnny Depp, I was just upset with his performance in Into the Woods. I’m just going to do Into the Woods guys. I would marry Chris Pine, and I would fuck Billy Magnussen.
Street: Do you have any special plans for Valentine’s Day?
AM: No, definitely not. [Ed. note: let's go see 50 Shades of Grey?]