On Tuesday, September 13, Apple released its iOS 10 update. At first I was confused—what was wrong with iOS 9, exactly? Then I saw the new emojis and everything was okay. Gender diverse emojis aside, here's everything you need to know about iOS 10:

  • Siri's different: Siri and her awful, metallic voice creep me out. Siri now integrates third–party apps (like Uber, calls and messaging) which is supposedly "smart" and "groundbreaking" but until Siri is a soothing British man calling me Beyoncé, I don't buy it.
  • iMessage EXPLODED: The emojis are cuter and more three–dimensional. There's a GIF keyboard and drawing tool. You can send oversized emojis, kisses, heartbeats, handwritten notes, reactions, audio clips and external media. You can use screen effects to light up the other person's screen with shooting stars, balloons, confetti, lasers and fireworks. I now have so many more ways to spam people.
  • Lock screen and notifications: Now you have to use the Touch ID and home button instead of sliding to unlock.
  • New photo editing tools: Brilliance adjustment, facial recognition and a markup feature...but VSCO's still better.
  • Memories in Photos: Your phone collects your photos and videos, assembles them into collections and creates nostalgic "Memory Movies."
  • Redesigned Apple Music: Apple Music's become more organized and easier to use, but people still prefer Spotify
  • Redesigned Maps: The navigation view, pins and locations are much clearer, plus now Maps connects to ride–sharing apps and restaurant apps (Ed. note: We're still loyal to Google Maps though).
  • WTF is a widget: Apparently widgets give you a preview of what's in your apps (traffic conditions, weather reports and g–cal reminders) but I've never seen anyone use one. Anyway, now they're more accessible and refined.
  • Bedtime and Wake alarm: You can customize your sleep schedule, track your sleep cycle, choose your wakeup song and set a separate alarm volume. There's also a dark interface so you aren't blinded by the light.
  • Dude, where's my car?: Wonder no more, now Siri will tell you exactly where you parked.

Final thoughts: Apple's running out of ideas. I'm waiting for Siri to morph into a soothing British man. Get on it, Tim!