If people saw how much joy I get over these four things, I would lose a lot of friends in a very short amount of time. Nonetheless, live and let live.
1. Greek Lady Soda Machine
From the outside, the joint looks like a simple Greek delicatessen. From the inside, however, Greek Lady proves to us that it is the way of the future. You want Cherry Coke with a splash of Fanta Grape and Sprite Zero? Too easy. For $2.85, any flavor of carbonated water can be yours. And it feels GOOD.
2. Bridge Soup
There's a reason we've seen Kweder eat his daily meal at Bridge Cafe more than once. "It's the only way" to get your soup fix on campus, without forcing yourself to brave the line at Frontera. Trust us, this shit is delicious. But fair warning: the aroma of your chicken noodle soup will stick to your clothing for the remainder of the day.
3. Sneaking Quest Bars into Fisher
Oh, you checked my bag and my Penn ID to ensure maximum security? You walk around every 20 minutes to make sure someone isn't inhaling a breakfast sandwich in the nick of time? Well, not only did I choose to bring the loudest bar to unwrap on planet Earth into Fisher, but I'm also not going to get caught doing it 78% of the time. #Sorrynotsorry, a girl's gotta eat while taking Buzzfeed "What Does Your Pizza Preference Say About Your Sex Life" quizzes.
4. Wearing Oversized Headphones on Locust
Don't even try to strike up a conversation or make eye contact at this point. What, are you going to remove one side of the headphone and hold it over your ear while you chat? Are you gonna press the weird button on the side and take the whole contraption off? No, you ain't. You're safe, keep walkin'.