Student Panicked That Window to Post “miss this view!” Spring Break Instagram Has Passed

THERE'S NO TIME FOR VSCO, OKAY??


fanabe_beach_sunset
Photo: Tony Hisgett / Wikimedia Commons

Hana Bridgewater (N’19) has a problem. It’s been almost two weeks since the end of spring break, and yet, she hasn’t found time to post a throwback Instagram of her vacation at her multimillion dollar estate on Sanibel Island, FL.

“I’m just concerned, honestly, that I waited too long. What if I post it now, but then people think I’m flat–out rude...instead of just braggy, which is what people normally think of me?” Hana said from her Radian apartment late last night.

“It’s just like...in the blink of an eye, I’ve basically missed my opportunity to remind people of the expensive and unattainable place where I spent my break,” she added.

When asked whether the picture is entirely necessary in the first place, given that she previously posted five pictures of the same sunset view, Hana responded, “What, am I stupid? Do you think I’m an idiot? Of course it’s necessary. People need to know.”

Hana’s friend Georgia Martin (C’19) suggested she just do it right then and there, to get it over with, but Hana seemed against the proposition.

“At 11:30 p.m.? On a Tuesday? What, do you want me to get less than 300 likes or something? What would my overbearing and needlessly competitive friend group say? God, Georgia, you don’t get me at all.”


03-23-17, essentials, fake, front page, frontpage, homepage, latest-issue, latestissue, lowbrow

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