Listings: Concerts

Particle/The Ally Theatre of the Living Arts 334 South Street Thurs - Fri, April 3-4, 9 p.m. $16 adv/$18 dos (215) 627-4825 When people accuse me of being anti-jambanditic, I always respond honestly. "That's just not true," I say. "Some of my best friends are jam bands." But, you know what, they're right. I am living a lie. When I google a band, and I find they're listed on Jambase, it scares me. I worry that they'll try and force me to grow dreads and wear hemp. Still, it is time I face my fears, and work on my jambandophobia. And Particle is a good band to start with, I guess. Though, any band that has played with Moe may be a bit too out there to start with. Richard Julian Tin Angel at Serrano 20 S. 2nd Street Fri, April 4, 7:30 p.m. $10 (215) 928-0978 Okay, true story. I dragged my mom to see Richard Julian at this house concert, because my brother told me he was good. Turns out, it was like this group of old people who knew each other from the "folk music club," and they were all really excited to talk to me, but completely ignored my mom. There was even this one guy who had Parkinson's and he didn't stop moving through the whole thing, and me and my mom couldn't stop laughing. At one point, the house owner yelled my name out, and then Richard himself said my name like eight times during the show. Poor thing, he was so desperate he talked to me the whole time. Afterwards, my mom vowed to never go out with me and my senile friends again. Marc Broussard The Trocadero 1003 Arch Street Fri, April 4, 8 p.m. www.thetroc.com Marc Broussard is twenty years old and sort of cute in a musician-who-mentions-in-his-bio-that-he-wants-to-spread-the-word-of-a-higher-power sort of way. But in that way, he is a hotty. Much cuter than, like, Pedro the Lion. He's from Louisiana, and he got his start singing onstage with his dad. That's so quaintly county-fairish. His mom still makes him bacon and biscuits. His dad makes him coffee. He plays the guitar. "If you're straight up honest with people, just be straight up, then they're going to like it because it's honest. That's one thing the world is lacking in my opinion -- honesty. Nobody's honest with each other anymore," Marc says. They'll eat him alive out there. They'll eat him alive. Yeah Yeah Yeahs First Unitarian Church 1906 Rittenhouse Square Fri, April 4, 7:30 p.m. (215) 563-3980 www.r5productions.com The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are actually really, really cool. They're pretentious and hipsterish and have rabbits that jump around on their website. They're just awesome. Karen O is a cool name. Having one letter as a last name is a funky trick. Soon, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs will be big, everyone says. Probably White Stripes big. And then they'll lose their credibility, and they won't be as cool. Take my word for it. I mean "You're Pretty Good Looking for a Girl" used to be my favorite song, and I haven't listened to it in like six months. So, get 'em while they're hot. Hot Hot Heat Theatre of Living Arts 334 South Street Sat, April 5, 9 p.m. $10 adv/$12 dos www.ticketmaster.com "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes, I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off." Isn't that whimsical song just the top of the pops? The truth is, so many nights I lie in bed, wishing I didn't have a roommate so that I could strip down to my birthday suit and dance in the nude, nice and cool. Actually, Abby just said, "I don't like to dance naked," and actually, I agree with her. She likes to dance in panties. I also like to dance in panties. Me and Abby are like the same person. Joe Jackson Band Theatre of the Living Arts 334 South Street Tue, April 8, 8 p.m. $28.50 adv/$29.50 dos www.ticketmaster.com I don't know anything about the Joe Johnson band. See, I know so little about them that I just called them Johnson and not Jackson. Actually, this weekend I was supposed to go a Dave Bern concert at the TLA, but it cost 17 dollars at the door, which is a huge amount of money for a concert I didn't want to go to. So, my friend and I went to Jon's and just sort of chilled and ate nachos and mozzarella sticks. Good times. Andy Stochansky Tin Angel at Serrano 20 S. 2nd Street Tue, April 8, 8:30 p.m. $10 (215) 928-0978 What kind of a last name is Stochanksy? Seriously though, if you are going to have an ugly last name at least make sure it's the name of some big company or something so people think you're rich. You know, like Joe Millionaire's last name was Marriott. Now, he may not have been very intelligent when it came to doing anything else, but at least he knew enough not to get a last name like Stochansky. Screw that. Joe Millionaire was a big, dumb giant. He belongs in a fairy tale. Give me a musician with an ugly last name any day. Slightly Stoopid Theatre of the Living Arts 334 South Street Wed, April 9, 8 p.m. $10 adv/$12 dos www.ticketmaster.com I think I'm slightly stupid. That doesn't mean I should be going to this show, because, quite frankly, I don't appreciate packed concerts, with some guy humping your butt while another guy tries to get his arm around you like you're both friends. C'mon now, unless it's the lead singer humping me with his arm around my neck, it's not allowed. Annie LenNox Forrest Theatre 1114 Walnut Street Wed, April 9, 8 p.m. $58-86 (215) 923-1515 When Marilyn Manson redid that Eurythmics song, I almost forgave him for being a complete attention hungry idiot. Almost. Then I heard the damn thing, and even though it wasn't that bad, it still didn't compare to the original. It was, on the other hand, a hell of a lot better than his cover of "Tainted Love," which proved he had a plushy fetish, and frankly I don't trust people with plushy fetishes. That's just weird. Anyway, Annie isn't a plushy and she doesn't have a fetish, so we should all be okay.