Listings: Quilting

Art Quilts at the Sedgwick Sedgwick Cultural Center 7137 Germantown Avenue April 6-May 4, Various Times Free (215) 248-9229 Maybe instead of having to make a quilt for your special loved one, you can simply steal from the quilt exhibition. On the way back from the lecture, remember how much you appreciate granny and stop by. If it's gonna remind you of that blankie you peed on like eight times in kindergarten, then get the fuck out, before you find yourself crying that you can't take it home with you. Lecture: Quilting Arts Sedgwick Cultural Center 7137 Germantown Avenue Sun, April 6, 12:30 p.m. $6 (215) 248-9229 So now, after seeing that quilt expose, you wanna make a quilt? You need to realize you're not in the 1950s among the Beavers, ass. Who the hell quilts? Shh, don't tell my boyfriend, but his mom quilts. She's made prom dresses and curtains. She's a freak. Whose mom quilts?! Not mine. She barely knows how to cook. Anyway, when I imagine the people who quilt I imagine an old hunchback lady on a park bench on a nice sunny fall day -- the same one that I ran into when I was riding on my bike. Don't worry, I didn't break a bone. But if you're like me when I was seven, when my granny taught me how to knit, maybe this will come in handy. "You can learn how to quilt in one lecture," you ask? Hell no. But, you might as well bore yourself to death at another lecture that you've paid for.