Listings: Kids' Events

Sesame Street Live: Let's Be Friends Sovereign Center 700 Penn Street Reading, PA April 10- April 14, various times I admit it. Like a good consumer I bought into the hype and I got myself a Tickle-Me Elmo -- only I did it the year after they were popular. Come on, I wasn't about to spend hundreds of dollars on a doll that laughs. I can just tickle myself for that effect. Anyway, I don't regret it. Elmo is damn adorable, and now that I get to see him in person I'm so nervous I may just wet my panties, and not in a sexual way you damn pervert. Dora the Explorer Live Tweeter Center 1 Harbor Boulevard Camden, N.J. April 10-April 13, various times Dora the explorer is supposed to be Hispanic, which is why it comes as a shock to me that her name is not Maria like every other TV Hispanic. That may be why people don't know she is supposed to be Hispanic. They probably just think she talks funny sometimes. You know, I was almost a Maria. That's not true, but my parents were going to name me Berenice, which almost makes me wish they had opted for Maria. Anyway, Dora is cute, and my professor says the show is quite educational, and that's always a big turn-off for kids. Ringling Bros. And Barnum and Bailey Circus First Union Spectrum 3601 South Broad Street April 16-April 27, various times When I was little, my dad and my brother and I took the metro-rail to the see the Ringling Brothers circus. The metro-rail is Miami's really pathetic version of a subway, except it doesn't go underground. Anyway, we got there and they had three rings going at the same time, so that you didn't know which one to watch, and anytime I switched rings something cool happened at one of the ones I wasn't looking at. Plus, I got really nauseous. Then we had to take the metro-rail back...at nighttime. Needless to say I haven't been to the circus since.