Do not visit Eastern State Penitentiary if you, like me, have to count your irrational fears on both hands: clowns, rodents, the elderly -- need I go on? If ghosts exist at all, they must be here, darting around the cold, abandoned cells of death row. This enormous, castle-like fortress dates from 1829, and was once the most famous prison in the world, with electricity and running water when President Jackson was still using a chamber pot in the White House. Open for tours from April through November and popular for conceptual art installations, the cell blocks of Eastern State represent an outdated Quaker belief that criminals could be reformed through strict solitary confinement. Life in the eight-by-twelve cells at Eastern was indeed lonely, to varying degrees -- one horse thief, for instance, almost went insane while locked up for 23 hours a day with only a Bible for company. He sat in silence, weaving baskets and waiting for a food tray to be slipped through a slot in his door. Charles Dickens visited Eastern in its early days, and commented that its creators were engaged in "a slow daily tampering with the mysteries of the brain". The prison tour is conducted by audio guide, so one can navigate the stale, damp, dungeons of Eastern without interruption from the hordes of obnoxious Jersey day-trippers. Narrated by actor Steve Buscemi, who has the voice of a child molester, the tour is full of quirky prison trivia (Al Capone got his tonsils removed on the hospital block in 1939) and accompanied by a cheesy soundtrack of squeaking hinges and gushing air intended as a reminder that "a stew of souls... and restless spirits" remain in the tomb-like corridors. Stark black and white photos cover the chipped paint of the walls in some of the empty halls, documenting the hardships of prison life over the years in the blank stares of the inmates. Abandoned for good in 1971, the prison thankfully has not been beautified or renovated except to make it safe for visitors -- the baseball diamond, for instance, is overgrown with weeds from three decades of neglect. From the recreation grounds, you can look up and see the modern Philadelphia skyline, with its steel and glass buildings, jutting above the rusting battlements. Eastern State is both fascinating and haunting, and certainly worth a visit. Just don't be surprised if you feel slightly uneasy in the shadows of the crumbling walls -- you might not be alone.

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