Queens of the Stone Age Tweeter Center at the Waterfront 1 Harbour Blvd. Camden, N.J. Fri, 8 p.m., $35-45 (856) 365-1300 http://www.tweetercenter.com/ You've seen their videos on MTV. They oscillate between a gritty hard rock band and a group of middle school perverts who put sperm in their videos. But they can rock it harder than any other band these days and that's why you should go see them. I've basically forgotten that Dave Grohl ever played in Nirvana. He has, too, that's why he continually tries to prove himself through the QOTSA and the Foos. Just go with the flow.
Bow Wow Tower Theater 69th and Ludlow Sat, 4 p.m/8 p.m., $37.50-42.50 (610) 352-2887 http://www.electricfactory.com He's been a hustla before he swaggered out of middle school. He's the biggest little thing in hip hop today, but don't call him L'il no more. He'll bust more rhymes than cherries. He's the Bozzle Wozzle and he's coming into town to show you what's up. I think he can curse now because his mom said it was okay. It definitely helps that he is related to Snoop. Peace bizzles. THE DANDY WARHOLS Trocadero 1003 Arch Street Sat, 8 p.m., $17 (215) 922-LIVE http://www.thetroc.com Whenever the Dandy Warhols are mentioned, the same response ensues. Wait a minute, the Dandy Warhols are never mentioned. The band that once declared that "heroin is so passe" is back on tour with their own personal blend of power pop. Think Fountains of Wayne with an agenda. And when you think of Fountains of Wayne, think of the great video with Rachel Hunter in a bikini, straight off the cutting block of "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." Now that the mood is set, go see the Dandy Warhols.
YO YO MA Kimmel Center 260 Broad St. Wed, 8:30 p.m., $60 (215) 790-5800 http://www.kimmelcenter.org Growing up was difficult for Yo Yo Ma, the result of sharing a name with a slang greeting and a child's toy. Yo Yo Ma was the constant target of bullies and fun pokers. Anguished, young Yo Yo thought to himself, "I'm gonna get back at these guys. I don't know how, but someday and somehow I'll show them." So Yo Yo went home every day and practiced his cello. He practiced until his fingers bled. Today, he's a millionaire and the world's most famous cellist. Nanny na na boo boo!
ADAM GREEN The Fire Philadelphia Bar & Grill 412 W. Girard Ave. Wed, 7 p.m., $8 (267) 671-9298 http://www.iourecords.com/thefire If you haven't heard of Adam Green, then maybe you've heard of his band, The Moldy Peaches. And if you haven't heard of The Moldy Peaches, Adam Green doesn't care. Putting his band on hold, Adam Green is currently touring solo on the strength of his song, "Jessica." This "Jessica" is not just any "Jessica," but rather the co-star of MTV's absolutely horrendous show, Newlyweds. It's somewhat reassuring to know that even if Jessica Simpson can't write her own songs, she can at least inspire other people to write good ones. (By the way, have you seen the episode of Newlyweds where Jessica thinks tuna fish is made of chicken?)
DAVID LEE ROTH Keswick Theatre Easton Road and Keswick Ave, Glenside Wed, 8 p.m., $38 & $46 (215) 336-2000 http://www.keswicktheatre.com "David Lee Roth lights the menorah..." Sorry, but you knew it was coming. No longer with the band that made "hair" fashionable, ex-Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth is on the road again. Go see him scream, go see him yelp, go see him wear tight pants that accentuate his crotch. Next thing you know, Mick Jagger will release a solo album. Or better yet, Iggy Pop will go touring without a shirt. Oh darn, maybe being "old" is the new being "young"
