I'm just going to come right out and say it: I've had enough. I don't want any more. I've had enough Greek Lady and Hemo's, because every time I eat something there, I feel like I am going to boot it back up. I've had it up to here with flipped up collars, fake tans, stromboli, Children International, guys that think covering their crotch with a guitar is funny and fraternity sluts. If I hear another a capella song, see another Von Dutch hat, walk past the assholes hanging around by Smokey Joe's, hear another story about someone doing coke, or smell the food coming from College Pizza, I am ending it. I'm walking to the top floor of Huntsman Hall, opening a window and taking one final leap to sweet freedom. I've had it with Penn.
With graduation looming, I couldn't help but reflect on my four years here in University City, happy home of Logan Hall, or as I call it, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory of Knowledge and Refinement. During my meditation, I was hard pressed to find something that I will miss here (besides my friends -- those guys are awesome). So I thought to myself, "Maybe I'm just jaded. Maybe I'm just depressed. Maybe I haven't eaten enough stromboli today." Alas, the answer was nowhere to be found. I guess I'm just done with Quaker City, USA, and it's done with me.
It seems like just yesterday I was a young, bright-eyed junior. West Philly was so promising then: there was so much to see, so much to do, so much stromboli to eat. But now, I realize there is a much larger, more interesting world beyond Penn. Who knows what people do with their collars in Montana? I wonder what they eat instead of stromboli in Ghana, or what brand of trucker hats they wear in Beijing, or if they have calzones in Seoul? Frankly, I can't wait to find out.
I guess the time has come to say goodbye, and I anxiously await the warm, luscious bosom of the outside world to welcome me home.
