I have finally done it.
I started to doubt myself. I started to wonder if it could be done. But I've finally done it.
I've found the must-have Jap accessory more ugly, more annoying, more stupidly popular than Uggs.
It is the Livestrong bracelet.
I understand that it may not be PC to say this. It might turn all your worlds upside down to hear a luminary such as myself denigrating something that supports cancer research. I understand that. But I'm not going to apologize.
Because, seriously -- isn't this just about the stupidest fad ever?
My friend Kerensa, whose sense of style is admittedly suspect, tells me she thinks the Livestrong trend is over. I ask why it began.
There's a long list of stupid trends. There's a list nearly as long of stupid trends which in some way allow people who've never done a charitable thing in their lives to pretend to care about others: AIDS ribbons (one of which, I will be honest, I wore to my bar mitzvah), yellow ribbons, voting.
Don't get me wrong -- there are probably some people out there who bought the Livestrong bracelet out of genuine concern for cancer victims. I think I may have met one of these people at some point. I admire these people, I really do. These are probably the kind of people who did community service in high school for more than their resume, and that's super.
Still, I have to wonder -- couldn't these people just have, say, donated a dollar to cancer research without getting the damn bracelet? I mean, that cheap piece of plastic can't be that expensive, but the cents it took to make it are money that is not going to cancer research. And that's what really matters, right?
Or maybe not.
I haven't noticed any news story announcing a cure for cancer, but I have noticed both candidates for President wearing a yellow bracelet. I have seen their popularity grow so much that I have come to believe that there are some things, like Livestrong bracelets and popped collars, which prove that sometimes you have to be really, really rich to dress really, really badly.
Street doesn't generally have a problem offending people, but even we for a little while thought that perhaps making fun of Livestrong bracelets might be crossing the line. Then I realized something very important. By making fun of Livestrong bracelets, I'm not making fun of cancer -- I'm making fun of stupid people, and that's something we can all enjoy.
Sincerely, Alex Koppelman
