This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
Hot Spot for Hookers: Corner of 40th and Walnut, next to lamp post Mon-Fri, 12 a.m., $15 for b.j., $40/hour (215) 453-2344
Miko Oh and Lola Davenport are not whores. They are respectable, conservative-dressing ladies. Still, they both consider themselves sexually progressive. They no longer wish to suppress their sexual desires; hence, they are offering sex to any decent looking young man (a seven or above on a scale of one to 10) in their bedrooms. Make sure when you call the number above, you ask for Ice Cold Delicious (Lola and Miko's pimp). Although the trio of Ice Cold, Lola and Miko have a bad street rep of charging extraneous fees, their other reputation of "blowing your mind" makes up for it.
"I like missionary position, at least for the first few encounters," Hawaiian vixen Miko Oh says. "But I'm totally open to exploration."
Oh likes Roman Polansky movies, but she's against watching films while making love.
"I love cinema too much. I can't deal with boys who grunt all over my favorite scenes," she says.
Lola Davenport, on the other hand, has no limits. She grunts and hollers over any white noise, she says. She likes to play indie rock while romping, and she's been known to read post-coitally from Bill Clinton's My Life.
Lola and Miko will not do two girls on one guy, unfortunately.
"I'm not attracted to Asian girls," Lola says. "Well, that's not exactly true. I'd do a Filipino."
And we'd all do both of you. Sigh.
