The advice columns of the past were written by old women who wore reading glasses and were read by pubescent teens who were too shy to ask a real person about nocturnal emissions. Now, this advice column will be written by three gossip-loving, culture-whoring sirens and read by college students who are still too shy to ask a real person about nocturnal emissions. Ask us questions and queries on men, women, sex(uality), relationships, friendships, fashion, art exhibits, books and pornography. Are you wondering what kind of boot to wear this fall with a knee length skirt? How you can stalk that random girl you met at a party? What the hell to say about a Mondrian painting? We swear the process will be completely confidential, non-judgmental and educational, so email us at firstname.lastname@example.org with your questions.