Ok, so this is a column about the cool new college drug. Need a byline. Meryl Street, orchid connoisseur/addict snorts with Street? snuffs with Street? Snuff. what does that even mean. Start with a quote? "There's a certain orchid look exactly like a certain insect so the insect is drawn to this flower, its double, its soul mate, and wants nothing more than to make love to it." No, that's stupid. Quotes are so fucking clich‚. No quote. Fuck the quote. but how to make it an "Ego Boost?" A Boost bar would be great right now. Lots of carbs though. Last thing I need. God, I'm fat. I'll just get something to drink. Maybe a water, but one of those flavorburst waters. get the flavor without the calories. No carbs in those. Fuck. How to start the Ego Boost. Talk about the orchids. how to find them. so you go in the woods near swamps and spot something white. Street says to pick it from the base, nip it at the bud. This is Ego, gotta sound hip. Take the flower back to your house. no, 'crib.' Crush it. Snort it. Let it flow. Street claims the high is different because it "feels smooth like flying. like an insect pollinating its soulmate. You are the insect." End with a metaphor. Perfect.

More Like This