In the ignominious tradition of Alone in the Dark, American actress Agnes Bruckner and German director Katja von Grenier have banded together to create one of the year's worst films with Blood and Chocolate.
The plot is a simple boy-meets-girl, girl's-family-keeps-them-apart premise. But wait - with werewolves! The caveat, sadly, is that the love affair between Bruckner and English actor Hugh Dancy is uncompelling, and a werewolf mafia subplot is neither scary nor credible. The werewolves themselves are ridiculous dog-like creatures, unusually vulnerable to dinner utensils - the romantic lead, played by Dancy, kills two in this fashion.
With lines like "It's only you you're running from" and "Tell me your name at least. You do have a name, right?" the script is a travesty. The cast, headlined by Olivier Martinez (slumming it here after a fine turn in Unfaithful), is not up to the task of salvaging anything from the miserable script.
The majority of screen time goes to the love plot between Dancy and Bruckner. While Dancy is at best mediocre, Bruckner's performance is laughably bad, her expressions oscillating between disinterest and passive acceptance. At the movie's supposed emotional nadir (we recognize it from the introduction of solemn piano music), her face looks as though someone had chipped her newly-polished nails.
Mercifully, the film runs a short 98 minutes, loaded with inane dialogue, absurd premises and high school quality cinematography. When next year's Golden Raspberry nominations are announced, look for Blood and Chocolate to lead the pack.
