It's always fascinated me to see just how long Penn students will wait in line. Whether it's at Smoke's, a random frat party or the two-and-a-half block queue to get into this year's Player's Ball athletic formal, girls willingly expose their legs to the below freezing winds while their dates contemplate the pros and cons of busting out their wallets for speedier service. It's not just the cold that stands in the way of an enjoyable night on the town. While many girls on campus were waiting in the necessary lines that go along with the annual rush process, some of us spent the last two weeks dealing with a completely different type of obstacle to entry: the ever-present, ever-burly and ever-so-cranky bouncer.
One unnecessary episode of bouncer malfeasance took place at this year's athletic formal, held at a popular Philly nightclub. In front of the entire crowd, three excessively brawny (read: overweight) rent-a-cops attacked, handcuffed and assaulted one impatient, cold and confused baseball player when he questioned the ridiculously long line and the seemingly arbitrary way some were let through and others were not. Meanwhile, another Penn student was allegedly roughed up by a bouncer at a sorority event. It's almost enough to make you want to stick to Copa.
With the generally affluent student population at Penn, you can imagine what goes on between bouncer and Quaker when the weather is a bit too nippy for the latter's liking. You could condemn the students who cheat the system and leave the rest of us waiting on the curb. But what about those husky individuals with their heavy black coats, walkie-talkies and stoic facial expressions? They want so desperately for us to take them seriously, yet they give us such little cause to do so. How can we respect the same man who just allowed the 19-year-old kid with a fat wallet don a wristband and skip the line while the outspoken athlete has his face in the snow and his screaming girlfriend cursing mercilessly at males three times her size? It's laughable.
I'd like to hear these men justify causing the very same ruckus they were hired to prevent. I'd love to hear their explanation of the fine line between a disruptive, impatient young adult and one who slips them $20 as they pass through the door. Go ahead gentlemen, allow us all to understand. Oh, and "step aside, ma'am," isn't going to cut it.