Walking out of Houston: Strange man wearing a bowtie: Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t following you.
Eating at Capogiro: Bro-type on his cellphone: You just have to treat crabs like crabs, you know?
On spring break: NYU chick: Don’t you go to Penn? You should know how to deal with passive aggressive asians.
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M&T Girl: Do you think I can read my cheat sheet if it’s size 5.5 font?
Indian 1: Dude, I heard he Frenched her. Indian 2: What does that even mean? Indian 3: Indians these days...
JAP: How does Ernest Owens have a boyfriend and I don’t? (Ed. Note: Ernest also was selected for EOTW and you weren't.) Guy on Locust: They couldn’t get actual drugs, so she took a horse tranquilizer. Pledge: My Tinder standards are, like, not as low as my real standards. Hipster: Once I realized they were in Pikapp I was like “WTF” because I thought they went to Drexel.
Solutions by The State News
