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Toasts & Roasts: 03.18.10

You know that saying: what happens in Acapulco stays in Acapulco? Highbrow would like to challenge that mantra. Toasts to people actin’ a fool because they think stories of their antics won’t make it north of the border.

To the Theta and Tabard girls that danced with the infamous Acapulco devil: nice! You just couldn’t wait until he graced some downtown Fling party. We know you thought showing some skin by flashing your fellow spring breakers would get you a little extra stage time, but we heard the devil rejected you as you clawed your way back up on stage.

Toasts to whatever Theos bro forced his pledge to stand on the roof of a villa party sans shirt for an hour of obligatory fist pumping. That’s hilarious.

Two thumbs up to conspicuous drug use. Highbrow only thinks that doing drugs is rad if everyone else knows you’re doing it. So, toasts to everyone who walked around in neon, sucking on pacifiers. You sure proved your coolness by letting us know that you were on ecstasy.

You probably binge drank away any memories of the week before spring break. Highbrow is here to remind you that it happened. Unfortunately, nothing compares to your wild ‘n crazy break, so this week Highbrow roasts pre-spring break gossip.

Before y’all went off to do drugs by the beach, our very own Kweder got fucked up right here in West Philadelphia. Sources tell us that during his performance he rolled around on stage screaming “I’m so fucked up!” and then started talking about how much he loved heroin. We only condone excessive drug use outside of the Penn bubble.

Lantern pledges were spotted stumbling around campus. Before break, drunk scenesters wandering about with eggs on their heads would excite us, post spring break it does not.

Castle tried to throw down at G Lounge, but unfortunately the club would not take international IDs, which as you can imagine was a huge problem for the crowd they attract. Though they found a way around it by moving the party to Recess, we say thumbs down to needing IDs to get into clubs. And to international crowds…


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Overheards 04.20.17

Sceney jinxer: Jinx, you owe me a gram of coke! That's the Penn version of jinx.