Walking down Locust: Girl talking on the phone: Mom, I have some great news, but first you have to promise me that you’re not going to do that weird Facebook thing that you always do.
Eating at Gia Pronto: Bro in cargo shorts: Dude, I told you, I don’t remember anything, I blacked out and when I woke up I was in prison.
Happy hour at Pod: Girl 1: My father doesn’t love me. Girl with no soul: I’d rather have my father not love me than grow up in the middle class.
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M&T Girl: Do you think I can read my cheat sheet if it’s size 5.5 font?
Indian 1: Dude, I heard he Frenched her. Indian 2: What does that even mean? Indian 3: Indians these days...
JAP: How does Ernest Owens have a boyfriend and I don’t? (Ed. Note: Ernest also was selected for EOTW and you weren't.) Guy on Locust: They couldn’t get actual drugs, so she took a horse tranquilizer. Pledge: My Tinder standards are, like, not as low as my real standards. Hipster: Once I realized they were in Pikapp I was like “WTF” because I thought they went to Drexel.
Solutions by The State News
