This week Passover and Easter overlapped, meaning campus was empty and boring. Toasts to anything fun and exciting that happened this week.
The warm weather reminded us of those Spring Break days on da beach and nights in da club. Theos just couldn’t take it anymore and decided to bring back the glory days, throwing a Pulco Party. Sorry Theos, but even with a senior painted all in silver like The Devil, it wasn’t the same and it certainly wasn’t fun.
Friars and Mortarboard initiated their new classes this week. Normally this would only be exciting for those involved, and annoying as fuck for everyone else, but apparently Mortarboard got in trouble with the po for hazing during initation. So now it's amusing for all. Thanks!
When we tell people back home that we go to school in West Philadelphia, that usually ilicits responses like: “woah, that’s mad sketchy.” Usually we defend our beloved hood, but this weekend things got a little out of hand. Highbrow roasts your seedy behavior. A certain jetsetting senior’s apartment was looted this past weekend. Theft is scary, but the skeevy part of the whole affair is what the thief decided to steal: several pairs of Tod’s loafers, cashmere sweaters and the victim’s passport and green card. Hmm … looks like the culprit has expensive taste. Tipsters suspect a friend is to blame. What the fuck, guys? We live in the City of Brotherly Love, let’s not steal from our friends.
Greek week started this week. We’re all for Greek bonding, and stuff, but we think stealing a theme from a previous Penn-group-planned week is mean, silly and simply uncreative. It’s Always Greek in Philadelphia sounds a lot like It’s Always Queer in Philadelphia, the LGBT community’s QPenn Week. We know you stole their theme, now eat it.
Beta has a goat. Not only are you making Pine Street look like a third world country, but thumbs down to your animal cruelty. We hear the poor goat has been inducted into the pledging process. Whatever that means, we — and the rest of the civilized world — judge you.
