Bros will be bros, dude. This week, Penn men really lived up to that stereotype. Toasts to that.
Theta Xi — aka the Taxi … aka the frat that nobody has ever heard of — bro'd out on their front porch, yelling ratings and misogynistic comments at girls who walked by. That's really macho, and therefore sexy. But what really elevated them to manly man status was when they asked passing Theta girls to snort coke off of their penises. So hot.
Sigma Chi thought they’d show off, proudly displaying 10 handles of Everclear on their chapter house mantle. While we totally get their male instinct to flaunt their feathers in the form of an impressive supply of booze, the police weren’t too attracted by the illegal spirits. Reportedly, upon seeing their stash, the po snapped a photo and sent that puppy off to OFSA.
Nobody likes a cry baby. This week Highbrow would like to roast all you whiny bitches.
We hear Beta is sad because they had to give up that goat. Cry us a river, thanks.
Seems like everyone’s having a paint mixer this year. As the partygoers bounced between two houses in this weekend’s rendition, our noble police force tried to break the annoying disturbance up. Instead of fessing up, like responsible adults, the two houses lied to the cops, claiming the event was a University-funded Jackson Pollock experiment. Be bigger people, please.
