Do you love the smell of Napalm in the morning? No? Well, here at Highbrow we certainly do.
Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When you sing you begin with the Sphinx Senior Society listserv is open to the public. Looks like technological mishaps happen even to the best and most honorific leaders on our esteemed campus. It would seem that the self-proclaimed sphincters class of 2011 (SL , <3) forgot to make private their googlegroup. They’ve hopefully fixed the major blunder by now but not before we trawled through all 441 email discussions for you. Sadly, but unsurprisingly, we've never been so incredibly bored. The most exciting thing to come out of it was an order form for a sphinx-logo thong and some initiation talk involving curry, orange juice and sand — the possible ingredients of their so-called "bad juice?" Have fun at tonight’s smoker. xoxo Sphinx Citer.
Speaking of fire, off-campus frats held their first smokers of the season last night. While certain houses prefer self-indulgent acts of masturbatory glee solely in the presence of males, others like having smoker girls to serve the freshmen cigarettes and advice on appropriate social behavior. Although black dress was requested, Highbrow would not have been surprised if bunny ears and tails were provided. For what are they but glorified participants in this grotesque ritual of mysogeny and ostentation …
Everyone's favorite extension-wearing mermaid made the listserv rounds last night, by way of a wannabe-TMZ clip on Youtube. She was frolicking in a tighter-than-spanks mini-dress on the arm of former *NSYNC crooner JC Chasez. Apparently it's appropriate to date someone that old if he's semi-pseudo-famous. Apparently.
In other news, the TriDelta chapter house has fleas. While they might be fans of doing it doggie style, we weren’t expecting them to take the expression so literally. Although thinking metaphorically might be beyond their reach … but raccoons, now we're talking.
