Texan senior watching kids playing in the button: Awww, I just love little kids in holes.
Friends: Dude. No.
Freshman reading The Walk: If these are the hearthrobs of Penn, I’m transferring to Vassar where the men look less gay.
Over–excited Guy: Can you pleeeease invite me to Woodser?
TriDelt: I already have a date. She's a chick and she's way hotter than you.
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M&T Girl: Do you think I can read my cheat sheet if it’s size 5.5 font?
Indian 1: Dude, I heard he Frenched her. Indian 2: What does that even mean? Indian 3: Indians these days...
JAP: How does Ernest Owens have a boyfriend and I don’t? (Ed. Note: Ernest also was selected for EOTW and you weren't.) Guy on Locust: They couldn’t get actual drugs, so she took a horse tranquilizer. Pledge: My Tinder standards are, like, not as low as my real standards. Hipster: Once I realized they were in Pikapp I was like “WTF” because I thought they went to Drexel.
Solutions by The State News
