Joke Issue:

We all hail from Philadelphia, dear readers, the most glamorous and industrious city on the Eastern Seaboard! Therefore, the fact that the lettuce in your pocket is in short supply is no excuse to live like any sad sack, average Joe in the breadline. Allow Street to show you how to turn that pesky Dustbowl grit into a beautiful, decorative piece of art — your room in the Quad (or for the ladies, Sargeant Hall) will be Depressionista–chic in no time!

MATERIALS —Dust (look outside, theres plenty of it!) —A Cadillac (Let’s face it, we go to Penn. No matter how tight the money gets, we’ll always have the green in our pocket for the white stuff) —Fireplace soot —A stick —An empty milk jug (Dumpster diving anyone?)

DIRECTIONS 1) Clean out that empty milk jug with some hot water: TB germs linger!

2) We have decided to use three different types of granulated substances in varying colors (the grey motif is so in right now). First, pour the soot into the bottom of the jar, as it is the darkest shade, then layer the dust on top. The Cadillac should be poured in last for easy access.

3) Put a cork in it and invite your chums over to admire your spruced–up digs!