Before:
Patriotism. You flag–totin’ Levi’s–wearin’ son–of–a–gun!
“This round of body shots is on me!”
A clean lifestyle.
A lip as naked as a baby’s bottom.
Pigmentally challenged.
asdffasdfasfasdaasdfasdfasfasdfdsafdsafaffs A red solo cup.
“Life is a façade of unending monotony.”
Sundays spent at spin class at Pottruck.
asdffasdfasfasdaasdfasdfasfasdfdsafdsafaffs A great story about crazy sex in a dirty frat house.
A stolen Four Loko from your roommate.
The ability to carefully construct a research paper in the English language.[/column]
[column width="47%" padding="0"]After:
Fuck America. I’m worldly, bitch.     
"Yo invito esta ronda! Ay ay ay!"
A trendy smoking habit.
A twirly mustache.
A tan. The ozone layer isn’t depleting over Australia for nothing!
A glass of red wine.
“Abroad, like, totally changed my life.”
Sundays spent doing meditation exercises learned in the Himalayas.
A great story about crazy sex in a dirty European hostel.
A stolen beer stein from Oktoberfest.
ESL classes. [/column]
[end_columns]
