Before:

Patriotism. You flag–totin’ Levi’s–wearin’ son–of–a–gun!

“This round of body shots is on me!”

A clean lifestyle.

A lip as naked as a baby’s bottom.

Pigmentally challenged.

asdffasdfasfasdaasdfasdfasfasdfdsafdsafaffs A red solo cup.

“Life is a façade of unending monotony.”

Sundays spent at spin class at Pottruck.

asdffasdfasfasdaasdfasdfasfasdfdsafdsafaffs A great story about crazy sex in a dirty frat house.

A stolen Four Loko from your roommate.

The ability to carefully construct a research paper in the English language.[/column]

After:

Fuck America. I’m worldly, bitch.&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp

"Yo invito esta ronda! Ay ay ay!"

A trendy smoking habit.

A twirly mustache.

A tan. The ozone layer isn’t depleting over Australia for nothing!

A glass of red wine.

“Abroad, like, totally changed my life.”

Sundays spent doing meditation exercises learned in the Himalayas.

A great story about crazy sex in a dirty European hostel.

A stolen beer stein from Oktoberfest.

ESL classes. [/column]

[end_columns]


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