Penn has taught me a lot about the idea of the “best.” Best way to accidentally spill your friends’ secrets? Play Taboo. Best way to test a night–made friendship? Say hi on Locust. Best walk of shame watching? November 1st on any porch on 41st Street. See? These are the important things in life. But then everyone has personal bests. The best thing about falling into bed at 3 a.m.? Cold, clean pillowcases. Best thing perk of living off–campus? Backyard BBQs in a city. Best way to clear your head? Peter Gabriel’s “Solsbury Hill.” So Street makes it easy for you. We’ve asked. We’ve tallied. And we’re proud to present to you: the annual Best of Penn. Past superlatives have been doled out to the obvious (the best way to look more alternative than you are is to wear a scarf) and the sneaky (the best place to take a secret poop is in Van Pelt). This year’s contenders fought diligently for the coveted title, and the winners may shock and surprise you. They may even encourage you to take an extra trip up the Huntsman escalators. Voters galore prayed Nicola Gentili would win Best Professor to see on a Reality TV Show (he didn’t). Maybe you sexually experimented with the hands on Addams’ gate (ew, that’s gross). And hopefully next weekend you’ll stumble into bed with a freshman during Fling. For now, Street’s annual Best of Penn features your personal bests. Eat your hearts out, would–be Foursquare mayors of Smoke’s.

Best I eva' had,