The boys of AXO’s annual philanthropy event, Big Man On Campus, are back. This year, they’re taller, they’re hairier and, let the record show, they’re all afraid of Dhamaka.
Street: What makes you a true BMOC?
Ben Slocum: Chest hair. Uninhibited.
Jason Maccabee: I’m not afraid to get naked. And I’m able to eat candy corn at any time of the year.
Trevor Cassidy: Body language.
Andrew Green: How you read other people, or how you present?
Russell Abdo: It’s a lot of reading.
TC: It’s both! It’s a conversation without words.
Ben Andrew Whitenack: Well, I am really big in person. I’m 6’6” when I first wake up in the morning.
Ainesh Ravi: Oh, wow.
BAW: Gravity shrinks me down, though.
AR: I’d say sociability for me?
Harrison Cook: I’m probably the most handsome contestant.
Street: Why are you going to win BMOC?
BS: I’m probably not.
JM: That’s the spirit!
TC: As long as I don’t come in last, I’m pretty down with that.
BS: I bought my routine on Gilt.
JM: For the record, Slocum’s drunk.
AR: Just gonna go with dancing on this one. That’s all I got.
HC: My girlfriend will dump me if I don’t.
Street: Who’s your biggest competition?
JM: Trevor!
BS: Yeah, Trevor!
RA: Trevor.
AM: No, the Dhamaka guy! Ainesh!
AR: I have some moves.
All: OHHHHHHH!
AM: That’s not fair. He dances for a living!
AG: Let’s accept it right now. We’re all going to lose that. We can’t dance as well as Dhamaka, so we have to be sexual or funny or something.
Street: What’s your secret weapon for winning?
HC: I’ll have all the goons from ATO there to cheer for me. If you refer to them as “goons” they’ll like that.
AR: Um, I guess swag on stage.
BAW: Swag on stage? Damn, I can’t compete with that.
AM: I made an underwear calendar freshman year. I think I’m going to rerelease the photos. You’ll see a younger man—but don’t worry, he’s over 18.
JM: A stuffed bathing suit.
TC: I have a pretty luscious team of backup dancers.
AS: That’s such a politically correct answer! That’s what the world wants to hear.
JM: “I was lifted up by my backup dancers.”
RA: Let the record show I took two of Trevor’s backup dancers from last year, when he won.
Street: How would you define manhood in one word?
TC: Anchorman.
AM: Facial hair.
BS: That’s two words.
JM: That’s, like, double the word count.
RA: If you say it really fast it can be one word, like, “fashuhair.”
BS: Woah, shit just got real. Puberty.
JM: I’m taking “Puberty.”
BS: No, Ben Slocum said “puberty!”
JM: No, fuck him—he’s drunk!
TC: Is there a word for if one ball is bigger than the other?
HC: Sticktoitiveness. Stick–to–it–ive–ness.
BAW: I’ll say confidence for mine.
AG: Confidence.
AR: I would go for “quick thinking” here, but I clearly don’t have that.
HC: You can say “quickthinkingiveness.”
AR: Alright, “quickthinkingiveness.”
Street: Who’s your favorite Disney Princess and why?
RA: Mulan! The obvious answer.
TC: Jasmine. She’s, like, the first ethnic–ass princess.
RA: Yeah, but Mulan did it better.
BS: Who’s the new one?
JM: I’ll take “Princess and the Frog.”
BS: Damnit! That’s what I wanted.
JM: Do you even know her name, though?
TC: Her name’s Tiana.
AG: Ariel. She’s fucking crazy.
AM: Belle. She’s a classic.
AR: Gonna go with Jasmine on this one. She’s Indian. She’s gorgeous. The long, flowing hair gets me.
BAW: Princess Fiona, because she’s Cameron Diaz. She’s really great, and she’s cool with looking like a princess or an ogre.
HC: Cinderella. She started from the bottom.
Street: There are two types of people at Penn…
BS: Those that buy from Pizza Rustica, and those that don’t.
JM: People who lived in King’s Court, and people who didn’t.
RA: People that are regulars at Evan’s Pizza, and people who aren’t.
AM: The Blarney’s vs. Smokes crowd is a classic.
HC: NARPs and athletic people.
AR: I’ve never heard of “NARP” before. I used to do track though.
BAW: I guess I’m a NARP right now, too.
HC: Yeah, technically.
AR: We’re has–beens. We’re washed up.
Street: How will you prepare for BMOC?
All: OHHHHHHHH!
JM: I’ll need a bear cub. Where can I find a competitive bear club?
BS: Diet Coke, Sweetgreen and HipCityVeg.
JM: Let the record show that Slocum’s in SDT. Slocum Delta Tau. Put that in.
TC: I’d probably marathon “Mob Wives” just to get the show’s competitive spirit. “Ya don’t want fuckin’ love comin out ya jugular. Ya gonna get your jaw wiped Maccabee!“
RA: I’ll prepare with a lot of picklebacks. It’s a shot of whiskey chased by pickle juice.
AG: Lots of underground dance fighting.
AR: I’m gonna get a gymnastics gym and work on my flips. If I can get that down.
BAW: Damn. I’m intimidated.
HC: If I say karaoke and squatting deep, will you print that?
Street: What is one reason people should see BMOC?
JM: Support the troops?
AM: Women’s rights.
TC: It’s for fucking charity.
BS: Let’s start a list, guys. For America, women’s rights… get God in there.
AG: Our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
TC: Everyone’s parents.
AR: Well, it’s a good cause. A good cause and seeing 24 shirtless men dance.
HC: You can hang out with the brothers of ATO. The goons.
BAW: I don’t see any downside to it. It’ll be fun. It’s a good cause. We’re gonna make fools of ourselves.
