Mom: Are you still seeing that nice boy you were seeing when you came home for Christmas? What was his name? Leonard?
You: He died in a freak jellyfish accident. It's been tough, but he's in a better place now. I will always remember him doing what he loved—touching fish.
Mom: How are classes going?
You: They were fine for a while, but I sort of gave up studying when I started watching half hour segments on Malaysian tattoos. Like, what's even the point of sociology classes when I could be making tribal art, ya know?
Mom: Are you sure that outfit's appropriate?
You: This is what Nana would have wanted me to wear to Easter. She loved the Sex Pistols and making mischief.
Mom: What do you want for dinner?
You: It's so like you to throw that in my face right now! (Storm out; drop mic.)
Mom: You know who I just saw at the grocery store? Barbara Levinson. You remember her son, Avi? You were in Kindermusik together?
You: Avi's gotten really into plushie culture, but I see him every once in a while because he sells dece weed. He uses the money to import high quality teddy bears from Japan. Nice guy.
