Dear Miss Appropriation,

I don’t know how else to say this: guys keep asking to fuck my ass.

Recently, every single one of my hookups has practically begged for anal, especially when they’re drunk. I keep feeling like I should be a good sport and say yes, but the pain is so unbearable that even saying we made it to “just the tip” is an overstatement.

When I asked my friends about it, not only had none of them ever tried it, but none of them have ever even been asked. Is there something about me that just screams “please stick it in my ass”? And if so, does that mean I’m somehow destined for anal, and should suck it up and fight through the pain? And honestly, what’s with these guys? Is regular—even freaky—sex just not enough for them? What the hell is so appealing about buttstuff anyway?!



Dear IAmLiterallyButthurt,

First things first: you call the shots, and not only regarding anal. If there’s something you’re not comfortable with, it’s completely off–limits: no ifs, ands or butts.

There’s probably a few reasons for these dudes’ obsession with trying to slip it in your backdoor: a) You have a really nice ass, b) They’re trying too hard to be cool or c) They’ve never tried it, either.

If these guys are comfortable enough with you to want to be acquainted with your butthole, that means you’re a cool girl who offers a safe space to try new things. But that space does not have to manifest itself up your ass if you’re not into that, either.

If you run into this problem again and still aren’t down, shut down his request by reversing it and asking him if he’d like to know how it feels to reverse–poop something. He’ll probably grow pale, shake his head and get off his high horse. If he nods eagerly, you have a different problem on your hands.


Miss Appropriation

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