Princess The Frog Fucker

Photos of Princess Tiana and Prince–Navee–as–a-frog making out surface. Tiana is sentenced to sex addiction rehab for her supposed bestiality problem. During her time in rehab, Tiana, with the aid of Belle from Beauty and the Beast, helps her fellow rehabbers realize that sex with animals is only cool if the animals will eventually turn into humans. Also, Prince Naveen drowns in gumbo.

Atlantis 2: All Quiet on the Lost Empire Front

The main character dude with the glasses whose name no one can ever remember wakes up and realizes that discovering Atlantis was all just a dream he had while in a coma. It turns out he hit his head on his way from the museum board meeting where they rejected his proposal that Atlantis exists, because it totally doesn't. Now, nerd–with-glasses gets recruited into World War I and has to deal with trench warfare. Then he just dies. Atlantis still doesn't exist.

Inside Out 2: Outside In

A deadly virus named Thrax enters Riley's body (because San Francisco is such a dirty place compared to Minnesota). Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Anger and Fear are overwhelmed because they've never had to fight a virus before! And they realize they need the help of Osmosis Jones, a non–Disney character from a 2001 Warner Brothers movie, to fight the virus off from the outside in. The outside goes in because now Bill Murray needs to spit directly into Riley's mouth to make sure that Osmosis Jones is transferred to Riley's body to fight off the virus. Sadness and Disgust have aneurysms because this is all too much for them, and so do viewers because of the aggressive crossover nature of the film.

Snow White II: The Seven Pre–Nups

Snow White speaks to the prince for the first time and realizes he has literally the most annoying voice in the whole kingdom. She divorces Prince Gottfried, but then has to hire a lawyer because it turns out the prince's mom and dad, the king and queen, made her sign seven different prenups while she was sleeping in that glass box. Snow White just wants what rightfully hers: half the castle, half the crown jewels, half the dwarves, half the kingdom, half the magic mirror, half the poison apple crop, and half of her antique glass coffin. Unfortunately, she gets stuck with all of the dwarves.

Aladdin II: Farewell to Your Childhood

Aladdin feels like something has changed about the genie. Genie keeps assuring Aladdin, in a voice not quite the same, that everything will be fine and he's still the same Genie. Aladdin doesn't believe Genie, and discovers that the soul of Genie died and he's been replaced by some corporate knockoff and that Aladdin's youth will never be the same again.

Song of the South II

A two–hour documentary that features all of the people that are still alive and worked on the original movie apologizing for the controversial and racist portrayals of African–Americans in the film. But don't worry, Justin Bieber performs a titillating cover of Zip–A–Dee–Doo–Dah.


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