Things to Blame on the Green Jungle Juice You Drank

Ten consequences of the questionable mixed drink you downed on St. Fratty's Day

Your broken wrist, finger, foot or general loss of physical dignity
Your unnecessary daylight DFMO
The broken fence/wall/elevated surface you were dancing and/or climbing on
Excessive green–themed instagrams and snapchat stories
Excessive/obnoxious green outfits
The lucky charms you binge ate in Allegros
Abandonment of your spring break diet
Regrettable drunk texts
The beautiful nap you took when you crashed
Questionably passing your midterm on Monday

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