It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and you’re looking for a gift for that special someone: your senator. They haven’t taken your calls, texts, emails or faxes, but you’re hoping that maybe the perfect V–Day gift will get them back in your (ideological) arms. To help you out, Street’s put together a list of eight fabulous gifts to send to your senator’s office. This Valentine's Day, show him or her you truly care (about the future of our democracy).
A dozen red roses
Display your never–ending love (and/or deep resentment) of your Senator with twelve red roses, symbolizing the twelve–step plan you have for defeating their re–election campaign.
Customize a five–pound bag of M&M's with romantic slogans like “WE WILL REMEMBER, TOOMEY” and “WATCH YOUR BACK, HATCH.”
A goodie basket of the hottest new skincare items
Just be sure to include a brief note, saying “Use these to wash the blood off your hands, Senator.”
A cute stuffed teddy bear
It's got hearts for eyes, and if you press its paw, Sen. Elizabeth Warren shouts “Shame!” from its adorable little mouth!
A lumbar support belt
How else will your senator survive being so spineless for the next four years?
A book of inspirational quotes
Include romantic phrases like, “Mr. Sessions has used the awesome powers of his office in a shabby attempt to intimidate and frighten elderly black voters. For this reprehensible conduct, he should not be rewarded with a federal judgeship.” —Coretta Scott King.
An Edible Arrangement
Get one that spells out “VOTE NO ON MNUCHIN” in melon.
Yours & Mine memberships to the ACLU
Your Senator may not appreciate the gesture, but you’ll rest easy knowing you both contributed to stabilizing our democracy!