In an email late last week, the Office of University Communications announced the release of their latest University Photo Calendar. The calendar, to be distributed for free to all undergraduate students, will feature twelve stunning photos of different angles of Locust Walk, largely dominated by pictures of students who are uninterestedly looking at their phones as they walk by. 

At first, calendar photographer Jane Morris (C ’20) tried to capture students in conversation, but quickly realized that 99.9 percent of her photos were of students staring blankly at phones trying to avoid eye contact.

“Honestly, it was kind of stunning. I took 18,000 photos over a five month period, and somehow, in literally every single photo, every person in the frame is clearly looking down at their phone to avoid speaking to someone,” she added.

The calendar ranges from January, featuring the freshman boy pretending to text his mom in order to avoid taking a flyer from an a cappella group, to June, showing a senior girl appearing to text her best friend to avoid making eye contact with her sophomore year DFMO. The calendar concludes with December, featuring a couple holding hands while pretending to text each other so as to not have to buy something at a bake sale.

“We are tremendously excited about this latest project, and know it will brighten up the office nooks and message boards of departments across campus,” said Communications Director Tom Sanchez.

When asked about the prevalence of uninterested, phone–obsessed college students across all images of the calendar, Sanchez commented, “I literally don’t know what to do about that. It is physically impossible to capture an image on Locust Walk where this is not occurring. Please leave me alone. Also, check out the Penn Instagram!”