Socially Skilled Freshman:  My new policy on Locust is going to be that I only wave at someone if they acknowledge me first.

Ditched High School Health Class: Do you need lube to eat pizza when you’re stoned? 

Went to High School Health Class: Okay...I have to explain it to you...eskimo brothers know how like, eskimos share an igloo?

English Major: I’ve decided boys are either essays or short stories. And very rarely, they are poems. 

Yom Kippur Dieter: I’m gonna be so skinny after this fast. 

PETA Activist: Can I still eat dick if I’m vegan? 

Chemistry TA: What about this one: write the molecular formula for Viagra?