Socially Skilled Freshman: My new policy on Locust is going to be that I only wave at someone if they acknowledge me first.
Ditched High School Health Class: Do you need lube to eat pizza when you’re stoned?
Went to High School Health Class: Okay...I have to explain it to you...eskimo brothers are...you know how like, eskimos share an igloo?
English Major: I’ve decided boys are either essays or short stories. And very rarely, they are poems.
Yom Kippur Dieter: I’m gonna be so skinny after this fast.
PETA Activist: Can I still eat dick if I’m vegan?
Chemistry TA: What about this one: write the molecular formula for Viagra?