Humor
Lowbrow's Holiday Hangover Survival Guide
Stuffed to your gills with eggnog? Missing the slopes? Stuck with a bunch of junk that your weird relatives gave you? Follow this guide to get out of the post-holiday slump and back into Penn!
Shoutouts: 11.29.2012
To Mask & Wig: Not inviting Bloomers to Comfest is like not inviting your drunk uncle to a wedding — nothing funny happens. To every pre–med at Penn who thinks he or she’s smarter than a liberal arts major: Guess what, I’m better at sex. To the closet druggie in my house who color–coded her prescription medication: Maybe it’s time to lay off the Adderall? To the kid who thinks Allegros is pronounced "Allegrays": Get your shit together. To the cheerleader who tried to get me to have a foursome: I didn’t read enough of "Fifty Shades of Grey"w for your fantasies. To the Senior Superlatives: Most Irrelevant Publication. To the girl who we fought to give our house to who then asked for the money she paid us for furniture back 4 months later: We can’t think of anything meaner to say than last semester’s Shoutout about you. To my early calc recitation on the 4th floor: Thank you for making me look out of shape. To the TriDelt who threw up while giving me a blowjob in the woods: Thanks for finishing. To Skulls: If only you were called Brains. To St.
Classifieds
Need an apartment? A job? A lover? Then the classifieds are for you! Take a browse through these listings and see if something catches your eye.
Uber Now Delivers Things You Never Knew You Wanted
In light of Uber’s kitten deliver last week, Lowbrow got to thinking of some better delivery ideas.
Replacing the Philly Diner
There’s a huge empty space on 39th and Walnut — and in our hearts. But what could replace our dear Philly Diner? Lowbrow has some suggestions.
Poke-Candidates
The big election is coming up, and voting for your candidate is nice and all, but know what would make the whole thing better? If they were Pokemon.
DIY Halloween Costumes
Lowbrow’s got a couple of quick fixes for your Halloween festivities — and you don’t even need to leave your dorm room to find them!
Hallo-Fuckin'-Ween
Do you feel that Halloween just isn’t what it used to be?
Creative Carving
Need some cool decorating ideas for your jack–o'–lanterns this Halloween? Try these out!
Lowbrow Gets Lazy: Lowbrow's Parents Write the Section
Lowbrow hopes that you had a wonderful Family Weekend filled with free food, hugs and your mom doing your laundry.
Ice Breakers
These lines will instantly change your social status, for better or for worse.
