Inspired by Uber's UberKITTENS deliveries for National Cat Day, Lowbrow got to thinking of some better delivery ideas. Do you wish you’d open your email and see that Uber is delivering Snicker fun–size bars and Xanax to your work because it’s “National Happiness Day”? So do we! Here are some other things we think Uber should deliver.

  • Uber delivers the new Adele album, fives pints of Ben & Jerry’s and apologies from exes, specially curated for you!
  • Uber delivers Dodo birds, flying squirrels and a small tree for when you want nature everywhere.
  • Uber delivers Hilary Clinton to your door asking you to dinner!
  • Uber delivers Cinnabon–scented Yankee Candles.
  • Uber delivers bath bombs to Russia, attempting to trick them into world peace.
  • Uber delivers Blue’s Clues.
  • Uber delivers jade pieces from the Met for you to admire.
  • Uber delivers dildos, custom–made by each driver.
  • Uber delivers George Foreman grills.
  • Uber delivers you from your indentured servitude and crippling self–doubt.


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