Andrew Goldsmith

To be cool. To be suave. To be Bogart. In Play It Again Sam, we witness one man's aspiration to be all of the above. Wildly imaginative and uncannily original, this neurotic comedy is arguably the best of Woody Allen's career.
February 21, 2008 at 12:00 am

1. You're not cool unless your BAC reaches at least .15 2. You're also not cool unless you belong to a group that sports an offensive T-shirt or headband. 3. Guys should hook up with at least two ugly girls by Sunday.
April 6, 2006 at 12:00 am

1. You are not entitled to be angry at people who forget to wish you a happy birthday. When people forget to wish you a happy birthday, it's for a reason: they were never your friend to begin with. 2.
March 23, 2006 at 12:00 am

You know you're destined for the following Winter Olympic sports if: Male Figure Skating -- You prance around in your mother's clothing doing interpretive dance only to later purge your sins using her bidet. Male Ice Dancing -- The one adjective people use to describe you is FIERCE. Women's Ice Hockey -- You're distantly related to Becky "the Icebox" O'Shea. Men's Ice Hockey -- You're from a country where people have last names like "Khabibulin" that are actually pronounced like "HAV-ee-BOO-lin." Cross Country Skiing -- You say California like Arnold Schwarzenegger and celebrate folklore of the Holy Roman Empire. Male Doubles Luge -- You enjoy nestling your head in other men's swamp nuts.
February 23, 2006 at 12:00 am