1. You're not cool unless your BAC reaches at least .15
2. You're also not cool unless you belong to a group that sports an offensive T-shirt or headband.
3. Guys should hook up with at least two ugly girls by Sunday. This is Penn after all.
4. Girls should pretend to get really drunk, so by the time Monday roles around they at least have an excuse ... oh wait, they already do that.
5. People who go to the Fling Concert suck.
6. People on Fling Safe will never have sex ... no seriously, never.
7. The police are not legally bound by the Constitution during Fling ... must be the Patriot Act or something ....
8. If you puke, you're a pussy.
9. Girls shouldn't heed Ludacris's advice to "be a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed." This is Spring Fling -- you can and should be slutty in public.
10. Finally, alcohol does not impair your judgment and can never result in physical or mental harm. It is both wise and legal for anyone under the age of 21 to consume alcoholic beverages, and in no way am I not condoning underage drinking. Don't stay sober. Be unsafe. ASK US WHY.
