Septuagenarian: “If a guy ever says ‘you’re so hot’, tell him that’s stale language.”

Semi–pro stalker: “He’s friends with an interesting group of gays on Facebook.”

Young Lucille Bluth at Copa: "I love how mean I get when I drink!"

Writing prof mid–critique: "Why were your boobs out on the beach? it's a legitimate question." 

Grammatically correct frat star: “Is Chouse capitalized?” 

Sesame Street snarker: "Kermit the Frog would make fun of her for wearing that outfit."


All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.