The word on the street is that you, Penn students, have f*cked up. You've neglected the masterpiece that is Arrested Development. Despite volumes of critical praise and six Emmy's including Outstanding Comedy Series, you've refused to watch this brilliant program. As both an analyst and a therapist (the world's first analrapist), I will explain exactly why it is you haven't watched, and to hopefully persuade you to start doing so before it's too late.
Complaint #1: "I don't have a clue what's going on." To the virgin viewer, the single-camera view, large cast and specific humor may seem confusing. But you know what? You need to suck it up and stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Give it three episodes minimum -- then you will be adequately caught up with the plot and familiar enough with the characters to understand what's going on. You think this is some CBS sitcom? Come on! Be patient with it and you will be handsomely rewarded. Only then can you appreciate a line like, "Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over."
Complaint #2: "This isn't funny." Arrested Development is not your average comedy series. There are no fart jokes, no topical humor and no generic comedy conventions. These are the most unique and complex characters in the history of comedic television. Where else will you find characters like Tony Wonder, a magician played by Ben Stiller whose tricks include pulling pieces of bread from his neck and Subway Club Cards from his chest? Another unique element of the show is that each episode ends with scenes from next week's episode that don't actually happen. Moreover, Arrested Development is a gift that keeps on giving, for one of its funniest attributes is its constant use of "callbacks," jokes that refer to occurrences from previous episodes or that are ongoing throughout the series. The more you watch, the more hidden jokes with which you are rewarded.
Now, the rest lies in your hands. There are eight episodes left beginning on Monday December 5th at 8 p.m. Surely you can find 30 minutes in your busy lives to give this diamond in the rough a chance at life. So tell all your friends about it; rent seasons one and two on DVD; Google memorable quotes--if we act fast, maybe the writing won't be on the wall just yet (although there's plenty of random blue paint on the wall already). What's to become of the most daring and intelligent comedy to ever hit primetime? Can it be saved?
My gut says no. But my gut is also very hungry.
