Attorney General Alberto Gonzales left his post this week, leaving behind a tainted legacy of scandals. Asked about his future plans, Gonzales replied that he couldn't recall at the moment, and that he wasn't at the meeting.
The DP considers the possibility of making webcasts. Still, no one cares.
World's Oldest Man turns 112. Expends last breath blowing out exorbitant number of birthday candles.
The infamous "Supermax" prison has opened its doors to reporters this week in an attempt to dispel rumors of poor, inhumane conditions. Not to be outdone, Guantanamo Bay announces it is now a day spa, offering advanced muscle therapy, special water treatment, and Swedish massage.
Russia blasts gerbils into space. Not to be outdone, U.S. blasts Nick from the Backstreet Boys.
Overweight passengers are costing airlines more money in fuel. FAA to mandate all in-flight meals be carved from their cellulose thighs.
Alan Greenspan announces that the Iraq War was for oil. Whaaaat? We had no idea...
