It’s my honor to welcome you all to the 2014 PennApps hackathon and continental breakfast. It’s inspiring to see so many bright young people who didn’t have other plans this weekend gathered together to change the world through the power of technology.

Make no mistake, we are here to change the world. After this weekend, everything will change. Get ready for everything you know to be disrupted. Everything. The way you pay for things. The way you look at things. The way you never seem to be able to get girls to talk to you.

We’ve got some amazing ideas already percolating. Walking around today, I heard no fewer than seven ideas for new social networks and none of them were even a little like Facebook. And the dating apps I’ve been hearing about—well, I’ll just say you guys are regular Casa–no–grammers. Amirite? Amirite?

But let’s not forget that this conference also has a social justice mission. That’s why we’re working hard to bring Uber to areas that never had it before, like the suburbs. Also, Africa. Someday, I hope there will be nowhere on the planet where you can’t get a driver to pick you up and take you where you need to go. And I hope he’ll know to keep his mouth shut the whole time, too. Jesus, I had this driver the other day who was just going on and on about his kids or whatever and I was like, “Come on, man, I just want to get to this VC meeting. What do you think this is, Lyft?”

But enough talking. It’s time to move fast and break things. (Please don’t actually break anything. We don’t want a repeat of last year.)