Lots of things come with fall: Ponchos, cider, mono and the return of the lumbersexual.  But most of all, plaid makes its triumphant return.  Here are new ways to incorporate the ever–flattering plaid into your life this month. Gotta stay #seasonal!

Whips and plaid excite me. Fifty Shades of Grey was so last year, so this year it’s all about Fifty Shades of Plaid. Deck out all your S&M gear with plaid to get into the mood this season.

Make it a mole. Beauty marks are all the rage, so why not superglue a plaid one right above your lip?

Plaid is okay. Just like the rainbow crosswalks celebrating pride, the crosswalks will be now turning plaid to celebrate fall.

Halloween costumes. Nothing says “boo” like a sexy plaid pope outfit. Scots are big fans of the Pope, you know. 

Get the latest in waxing. Brazilians? Are we still in 2000? This fall deck out your nether regions with a plaid pattern. Ask your salon today about dying your pubes a plaid patten. They'll know exactly what you're talking about. 

The Plaid. a new cocktail created exclusively by mixologist Gerard Butler for 34th Street Magazine.  Put in 2 oz. whiskey, 3 oz. essence of bagpipe and 1.5 oz. blood of your enemies and you're good to go!

Rain rain, plaid away. Who needs a plastic umbrella when you can make yours out of flannel. Will you get wet? Maybe. Will you outshine all other umbrella users? Definitely.

Give the gift of plaid. Don't know what to get your parents for the holidays, just get them plaid bedsheets. They hide stains great!