If you end up in the Round Up, it’s because your friends (or haters) outed you, right? Wrong! It was the walls—they see everything. This week Highbrow’s turning over a new leaf: we’ve decided to help you out. Here’s a list of walls to avoid if you don’t want to end up in the Round Up.


  1. The Walls in Metro: These walls are the srattiest walls on campus. You’re a fool if you thought you could fill in you BFF about last night’s antics and not be overheard.
  2. The Western Wall: This wall talks shit about every betch on birthright. Thought you were out of earshot in Israel? Think again.
  3. The Vault in Rumor: This wall is in prime position to see everything you do wrong on a Thursday. Think no one saw you leave with your best friend’s ex? It saw.
  4. The Frontera Wall: “Wait, the Frontera porch has no walls!” you may think. Well, you’re forgetting about Frontera’s actual wall, and that mistake will be your downfall.
  5. SHS Wall: if you want to avoid everyone talking about your little, er, downstairs infestation, you should probably avoid SHS. Those walls love some good gossip, especially when they're feeling... crabby.
  6. College Hall Admissions Wall: Ever wonder how high school gossip winds up in the Round Up? Now you know. These walls are tapped into the New York City high school crowd better than the average Jericho Jap.
  7. The Zete Moose: This frat star is probably our favorite member of Zete, but let’s be real, he doesn’t have much competition. Unfortunately for you sweet things, this taxidermied gossip loves to spill secrets. Don’t go blabbing in front of him if you’re trying to remain anonymoose.
  8. The Wall that keeps the Plebes out of Domus: Just because mommy and daddy are bankrolling your stay in the swankiest building west of the Schuylkill doesn’t mean you’re safe from Highbrow. Those walls might keep undesirables out, but some things, like immunity from being gossiped about, even money can’t buy.
  9. The Beige Block Backlot Fence: You know that what happens in The Backlot doesn’t stay in The Backlot, right? But we bet you never suspected it was the fence that told everything. Every nip-slip and drunken mishap that happens on beige block is meticulously documented and reported by this dutiful fence. 
  10. The Walls in Smokes': These hallowed walls of debaucherous nights past don’t have to work too hard for gossip. From Kweder induced DFMOs to vommy nights in Smokes’ bathrooms, these walls have seen and heard it all, and they’re more than happy to spill.

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