An estimated 3.3 million men between the ages of 15 and 44 years in America are currently at risk of exposing people around them to nausea and disgust because they are drinking, attempting to hit on another person, and not using self–control. About half of all US pickup lines are unplanned. Even when planned, most men don’t know their target until 1–2 hours into the night. This means a man might be drinking and subjecting people around him to equally unfortunate practice runs without knowing it.

Risks of alcohol:

For any man looking to flirt:      For any man:
EmbarrassmentHeart Disease
Awkward silencesCancer
A punch in the face Sexually Transmitted Diseases
A kick in the nutsWhiskey Dick

Easy steps men can take to avoid these risks:

-Talk to their wing–man about their plans for courtship, their alcohol use, and ways to prevent looking like an asshole.

-Ask their partner, family and friends to support their choice not to drink (while attempting to express their infatuation to a stranger).

-100% of bad pick up lines are completely preventable. It is therefore officially recommended that men who are or might be trying to flirt with another person not drink alcohol at all. Or at least remove head from sphincter, then try. 


All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.