Step One: It is recommended that you buy an instrument.
Preferably one that you already know how to play, but if you haven’t shown any talent in the musical area of life, then we suggest the cowbell. It has a great sound to it, it’s shiny and it’s Will Ferrell endorsed—what more can you ask for?
Step Two: Look for potential band mates.
If you can’t think of anyone right off the bat, just go to your classes and start playing music in the middle of your lectures. The people who either sing along or have the best air guitars are probably the ones you should talk to. Bonus points if your guitarist has long hair and will inevitably go solo.
Step Three: Stalk everyone from Step Two.
This way you can get to know them without them knowing you. You can fabricate a connection based on your observations when you do eventually talk to them. Also, if you find out they’re already in a different band, you can seduce the head of said band and dismantle it so that your target is in need of a new group.
Step Four: Get a flyer advertising auditions.
If you aren’t in Wharton and don’t have free printing, just go to the quad, steal as many Mask and Wig posters as you need, write your information on the back of it and slip it under the doors of the people you want.
Step Five: See who shows up.
Seeing as your flyers are double–sided, some people might get confused and actually go to the Mask and Wig show rather than your planned auditions, so you might just have to take the lot of them.
Step Six: Pick a band name.
Ask half the band to write an adjective on a piece of paper, and the other half to write a noun. Randomly select one of each. Voila! You have a band name! It’ll probably be something cool like Flirtatious Bagels so get ready to have your mind blown.
Step Seven: Find a student organization that’s too nice to say no to having you perform for them.
If you’ve followed the steps exactly up until this point, you should be comparable to One Direction or Little Mix in talent so your career will take off from here. Be sure to thank Street when you accept your first Grammy.
